Fuck you, Cascade.

So I always hear people talking about how damn expensive dishwashing detergent is. I laugh my ass off. I don't worry about that shit. Why? I make my own. No chemicals, I know what's in it... all that fabulous nonsense.

So here is my recipe for how to make your own dishwashing detergent without Borax. What the shit is Borax you ask? Well, its toxic. I don't like it (unless it goes in my laundry detergent. Yeah, I'm that person). Anyhow, if Borax is warmed up (like in the microwave) on your plates, it can leave a toxic reside. The chances of you being poisoned are not very likely. More likely that you will be eaten by a shark and have your asshole hair burned by lighting at the same time. But do you want to take that risk? I don't. I like my asshole.

This recipe lasts me about 2-3 months, depending on my current level of laziness. I only use 1.3 tbsp (the .3 is important, I'm getting there). I reused my daughter's old Carnation Instant Start Breakfast (which tastes fucking delicious, for the record. And those vitamins. OH! A mother's dream -- let's all laugh at the chemicals in that). I like to reuse containers. It's frugal.

Here's the damn recipe already: -1 whole thing of LemiShine. It's next to Cascade. Ironic, much?
-OR 1/4 cup Lemon KoolAid. Feel free to use grape if you want a purple dishwasher. LEMON ONLY.
-1.5 cups washing soda.
-0.5 cups baking soda
-0.5 cups sea salt

Stop freaking out, this shit is easy and it lasts a long ass time. The individual boxes, that is. I still have the original ones I used when I started making my laundry detergent 6 months ago (I'll get to that soon) and I use them for my dishwashing escapades as well. The only thing you need to keep buying is LemiShine. It doesn't cost shit for something you use this long. You can even use Lemon KoolAid. I'm not a fan of it cause it makes me want lemonade something wicked. And then I go buy vodka and then well, we have a damn party on our hands. Attached are pictures. Enjoy.
P.S. You put a tablespoon in the main dish thingamajigger and like umm.... a teaspoon in the other one, pre-rinse? . And I put vinegar in the place most people put their JetDry. Just fill it up till you cain't no mo. Then stick the stopper in. BOOM.

Welcome to thunderdome, bitch!

As this is my inaugural post, I'm sure I should say something clever and profound. I don't fucking feel like it and I'm liquored up enough to be missing some large words to be able to sound clever, not to mention if I keep going I'll start slurring my text. Don't put it past me. This blog is about how to save money and how to cook some of my favorite shit. I'm not one of those clever moms who sit there and google all day about how to make life easier... I Pinterest it. Or I ask other moms I look up to and am all, "Damn, son. I'd like to be like her when I grow up." Here's what to expect, I guess. I post recipes I've tried out and actually fucking like. They usually aren't too difficult but it might surprise you that I kind of like the harder ones. HA. That's what she said. I say fuck a lot. And shit. And whore. And assface. And all that shit. If you don't like it, this isn't the blog for you. Go somewhere else. I talk about ways I save my family money. I'm surprisingly crunchy under all the profanity. I don't like chemicals or processed shit. But I will still use them if it suits my better needs. Don't fucking judge me. I'm a work in progress.