Low calorie chocolate mousse/pudding with coconut milk and other shit

Chocolate mousse... one of the things in life you should never skimp on, right? WRONG. If you fat, you need to cut down the calories. Let's talk about my hips for a minute. I wear mom jeans to hold those bad boys in. They are obscene. They have stretch marks. THEY MUST BE TAMED. And that will never happen with me eating fried chicken and cherry cobbler. I'm in the south, you can't fucking blame me. I'm ravenous if someone even mentions lard or chocolate covered (insert food item here). Steak and potatoes? You can't marry a man who lives in the south without knowing how to cook this dish. IT'S LIFE. It's the right of every God fearing southerner to eat heaping spoonfuls of crap and fear the Lord.

So this is my first food post! I decided last night to make chocolate pudding for Little Bit and Doc. Those two will tear that stuff up like a fat kid on a cupcake on a bender. I made it and worried about all the processed crap in it and the calories I myself was ingesting by licking the spoon (and the beaters... and eating my own cup... and stealing bites off Doc's and acting like the baby ate it). So I remembered that I Pinned something about coconut milk and cocoa powder that was supposed to rock everyone's socks off. Decided to make it. Check this shit...

Recipe referenced: http://chocolatecoveredkatie.com/2012/01/16/chocolate-frosting-shots/

So here's what it is:
1 can of coconut milk put in the fridge overnight. I saw no difference in it but they say it poofs that fucker up overnight. Whatever. Saw it not, did I.
1/4 cup and 1 tablespoon cocoa.
Sweetener. I used some real sugar, powdered sugar, and truvia. I cheated on the first two. I just didn't want it to taste like asshole. But I didn't use much of the first two and used 4 packets of truvia.
1/2 teaspoon of vanilla extract. I'll put a full teaspoon in next time, just to be a badass.

Whip it all up. Or, if you had technical difficulties like me and your mixer is so fucking old (and once belonged to your step-mama 8 years ago), use a whisk. I've really enjoyed having a mixer, it makes me feel more productive, like the shit I'm making is a little step above all the crap I made with a whisk. But there's something about using a whisk. It's like you put more effort in. But it also makes you want to not cook anymore... Cause it just takes longer and it makes you work. Your arm hurts. It's just unhappy. Fuck it.

Below are the pictures. You cans see a) my vodka b) my mixer breaking down and leaving us (I think it might have gotten drunk off my hooch) and c) the process of making this shit. It wasn't bad. It wasn't Jell-O material, but it was pretty fucking mediocre. I'd make it again. And again. And if I could find a whipped cream spray can, I'd stick it in that and go to town and put it on someone hot. Make it. Judge for yourself, but its not bad. Not like you'd think.
Also, I put it in a repurposed salsa jar. The paper is still on it cause I couldn't get it off, I didn't buy any Goo Gone and didn't want to make the Goo Gone I saw on Pinterest. So it's still there all unpretty in my fridge, but hey, it holds chocolate. Better than what it was doing...